ARE YOU A SELF-TALKER?
HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD ITS NOT A GOOD HABIT? OF COURSE, MOST OF US HAVE HEARD THIS.
Well, I don’t think anyone would disagree that effective communication is probably key to connect or relate to other people. But what about having a dialogue or communication with yourself?
Talking to yourself isn’t just something for which people get labeled as nuts or insane and do get sent for therapy often.
But how do you talk to yourself? Do you criticize yourself for making mistakes? Do you play the ‘shoulda-woulda-coulda’ game with yourself? Do you work yourself into a nervous frenzy by worrying about what ‘could’ go wrong or what ‘could’ have happened, perhaps even talking to yourself in an abusive or nagging tone? Maybe even asking yourself redundant questions?
Self-talking is beautiful. It’s a connection we all should have. One should listen to their inner voice and understand oneself.
Developing effective ways of communicating well with yourself is an imperative aspect of overall health and happiness. So, how do we make it better?
A. QUALITY QUESTIONS ARE THE ANSWERS
Ask positive questions while having self-talk.
As an example, when you want to talk to someone you’d like to get to know; Often people say things in their heads like: ‘What if he rejects me?’ ‘What if I walk up to her and can’t think of anything to say?’ ‘What if I look like an idiot?’
Now, if you engage in this kind of conversation where the focus is on negative emotions, it is most likely that you will be paralyzed because of self-doubt and even if you would have been able to do better - you will not be.
So, if you do this - STOP IT.
The quality of the questions you ask yourself determines not only the quality of the answers you get but the quality of your state of mind, and ultimately the quality of your life.
Some might argue that asking yourself negatively focused on ‘what if’ questions are a better way of being prepared and protecting yourself. But I would put the following statement to you instead:
“Focusing on positive results is the only way to get positive results.”
Positive questions will not only give positive results but will also result in a positive state of mind that will have you get off your butt and take action! Or at least feel good. And feeling good (vibrationally speaking) is the precursor of attracting more good stuff to feel good about.
B. POWER OF YOUR NAME
Say your name. “Use your first name and say, for example, “Aditya, you can do this. It’s only a test, and you have taken dozens of them before.” Studies suggest that speaking in the third person creates a kind of mental distance that allows for more objectivity, and, therefore, more rational self-support to occur.
Research has found that people who use their own name rather than “I” when engaging in positive self-talk are actually more supportive and encouraging to themselves.
C. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Knowing how we feel when we think of something in the present is important because that does impact our lives in the longer run. When you tune in to the present moment, you can access exactly how you are feeling or what you are thinking. Mindfulness helps you do this without judging what you are experiencing, allowing you to communicate openness and acceptance to yourself.
Got the idea?
Acceptance is the key and we need to be honest with ourselves first before being honest with the people around us. Encourage yourself to be that positive and honest force and then see the change.
Love
Arouba